Jhonen's Next Top Model
by Invader Cloudie
Summary: This is the result of watching America's Next Top Model and reading JTHM at the same time. Its pretty much a REALLY weird version of America's Next Top Model, only Jhonen-ized.
1. The plane ride there

A young girl sat in front of her TV, reading a JTHM comic while watching America's Next Top Model… And BOOM! This happened. don't shoot me.

Disclaimer- NO! I DON'T OWN CHEESE! OKAY? Oh, and deh waffles belong to ZnakDoom!

* * *

"Why are we doing this?" Devi asked Tenna as they got on the plane to go to Los Angeles. "I am not sure. I just think that the model industry needs more people like us!" Tenna replied cheerily. Devi sighed, "Look who's behind us…" Tenna turned around and peered over Devi's head to see Anne Gwish coming up the ramp, to get on the plane. "Shit." Devi cursed under her breath.

Devi didn't hate Anne, she just simply didn't like being around her. When Devi did go out, she would usually go with Tenna, and sometimes Anne would tag along. Griping and whining about how life sucks, or how she ran out of her Maniac Panic pitch black hair dye and had to run down to Hot Topic on a Saturday night to get more, and how everyone in the world was starring (even though she liked the attention) and some fat ugly guy in Hot Topic who was shopping for leather thongs asked her out.

Tenna and Devi quickly greeted Anne, then tried to avoid her, but they couldn't. Alas their seats were next to hers. Gaz sat next to Devi, in the middle row, playing her GS2. Tak, somehow was involved in all of this too, and sat behind Anne Gwish, kicking her seat. Vita and Mrs. Bitters (ooh, fear the Bitters) sat in window seats. Vita on the far right, and Mrs. Bitters on the far left.

One of the stewardesses came down the isle with Tess following shortly behind her, looking quite nervous. "There is your seat." The stewardess told her, pointing at a empty seat between Anne Gwish and Tenna. Tess took her seat and pulled her Ipod out of her carry-on bag. Tenna and Mrs. Bitters were both already sleeping, Anne and Devi both were reading, Vita was looking out her window, Tak was still kicking Anne's seat, and Gaz was playing her GS2.

Once the plane had landed, everyone grabbed their bags and got off of the plane, and into the Los Angles airport. Standing there was a man in a chuffer outfit holding a sign upside down, but if you tilted your head upside down it clearly said, "Jhonen's Next Top Model Contestants" in blood red ink. "Are you the contestants?" the chuffer asked. Everyone nodded. "This way please." he leaded then out the door to a black limo with blood red designs down the sides. The contestants piled in and the limo pulled away from the air port's parking lot and into the LA streets.

The chuffer dropped them off at a old worn down building, most of the windows were cracked, and it looked like bullet holes had penetrated the brick on the outside of the building. The staircase's railing was falling off, and the door was falling off its hinges. The place was not fit for a regular wannabe model to live, but this was different, these weren't regular models. These were super-creepy Jhonen models!

Gaz walked up the staircase and entered the building. It was dirty, and insect infested. Gaz's eyes widened, "Cool…" she said as she entered the large living room. There laying on the couch was a man with black hair, a black shirt and black jeans. He had gauges and tattoos running up his neck and down his arms. "Hi!" Tenna screeched. The man jumped up off the couch and rubbed his eyes. He yawned then blinked a few times. "You… must be the contestants." he yawned again. "I am Roman Dirge, one of the judges-" Roman was cut off by a voice in the kitchen screaming, "Who shouldn't be SLEEPING!"

Roman stretched quickly and then turned to the girls. "Your rooms are upstairs, feel free to… um…clean them up a bit." with that Roman awkwardly walked away, and in stepped… (cue doom-ish music)

"Fook! My Skettios are burnt!" Nny stepped out of the kitchen with a spoon in his mouth and a bowl of skettios in his hand. Nny dropped the bowl, and the spoon fell out of his mouth when he saw WHO exactly the contestants were.

"YOU!" Devi and Nny yelled at the same time. "I thought I slapped a restraining order against you!" Devi screamed in shock. "Yeah, well, about that…" loud ripping noises were heard and everyone turned their heads to look at the staircase. There stood Jhonen, ripping the restraining order papers to shreds. He threw them up in the air like little pieces of confetti, then smiled this odd, freakish smirk then said, "Ladies, welcome to your doom."

* * *

End chapter 1.

My god there are so many flaws in this. I cant even believe it. But I am still to tired to fix them so… yeah. No flames please, yes I know Jhonen is a little ooc, and I don't know what Roman is like, so… um… yeah, please excuse my ooc-ness. I am leaving for Hawaii on Monday, so I wont be updating for 2 weeks. Sorry guys.


	2. Judges, meet the REAL judges

Ok. I lied. THIS is OFFICIALLY my last chapter, that I am posting before I go to Hawaii. I am so happy that I got two reviews! Oh and I promise everyone will be a little less Ooc, because I had sugar this morning! And sugar plus Cloud equals GOOD STORY!

FleeingFaith- Um… Maybe. I am not sure. I've only read a few Lenore comics, but… yeah she might make it later on. But another thing is, if I put her in the story, then I might have the catagory from "Jhonen Vasquez" to "Crossovers"

Disclaimers- Disclaimers disgust me…

Vita had a look of fear on her face as she stared at Jhonen, "But… I thought we were going to be-" She was cut off, "Models?" Roman stated, entering the room with a plate of sandwiches. Roman stuffed a sandwich in his mouth then said, "You are… Mphhf… Models of doom, that is." Mrs. Bitters raised her head at the word, "Doom" she smiled this crackled, dirty, and just plain old ugly smile.

Everyone followed Jhonen, Roman, and Nny into a large room. You could hear loud snoring, but no one who was sleeping was in sight. Jhonen went behind a table and took a seat in a large chair. Nny was on his left, and Roman on his right. But there was a extra chair next to Roman, and it was empty.

"Where's Richard?" Jhonen asked. "Um…" Roman looked underneath the table to see none other than… (Yes. I am criminally insane. Please shoot the hell out of me) Richard Horvitz sleeping peacefully.

Roman kicked him in the ribs and Richard banged his head on the underside of the table as he was getting up. "Sorry guys, I was just taking a nap…" Richard sat down in his seat and yawned. Jhonen shot him a glare, "Richard, your fired." Of course he didn't mean it, but it was threatening… and threats are good.

"Ok, first is…" Roman tapped his clipboard a few times with his pen. "Tenna, please walk towards us and back." he demanded.

Tenna did as she was told, and half way down the runway, she tripped and fell. The judges marked something down on their clipboards, "Umm… now, Dev-Y?" Richard said, messing up on her name.

"Its Dev-I not Dev-Y." Devi corrected him. The judges marked something down on their clipboards once again. "Up and down the runway, please." Roman asked.

Devi did what she was told, but did it with her arms crossed, so it didn't look very attractive.

After all the girls did the runway, they were rushed to their rooms that way the judges could make some decisions and such.

"What did you think Johnny?" Jhonen asked. Johnny held up his clipboard, which was littered with doodles of Happy Noodle Boy. "Oh, um… okay…" Richard took a step away from the maniac.

"I personally think they all sucked." said a voice. The judges turned to see… The reviews….

That's right! You get to chose who wins! End chapter 2. Next chapter is where they start modeling, and well… lets say that Mrs. Bitters and Anne Gwish get into a fight.


End file.
